i think i´m a useless human being

I´m 28 year-old already, married and i don't have a steady job yet. all the money in my bank account comes from my all-mighty mother(well, a bit from my hard-working husband), thanks to her that now i could sit down in front of this computer and mess up my own life. I feel quite empty since coming back here. I don´t know how come i put myself into this...well, chaos.

I dont know what i want to do as career, or I DO know what to do but I need to go out of this island and i dont see that happen. all right, this morning my boss called me up asking if i´m ready to get back to work. the thing is i dont even know if to keep working in pastry or to find something else. also, we want to have a baby this year and i cant keep a pastry job and a baby at the same time, i´ll be exhausted. meanwhile, the global warmimg and the pollution totally upset me and spoil the idea of giving birth to a small tiny baby. what for? to suffer from the tragedy of the planet? before leaving home, i bought 2 more trash cans for my mum and told her the best thing she could do for her grand daughter is to keep clean the planet and it could be done just by recycling. however we dont know if the taiwanese govenment really RECYCLES afterwards.

anyways, i think i should go back to my previous job before finding another even i really dont wanna go back there and let the mother fucker take advantage of cheap labor. or i could stay at home fooling around like a spoiled girl( or woman) until i get a new job.

well, i thought that if i say it out loud i´d feel better, but i dont feel a shit.